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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23874586">I have an answer... Or I don’t?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HighPriestessBlackwood/pseuds/HighPriestessBlackwood'>HighPriestessBlackwood</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Disappointment, F/M, Heartbreak, Love, Marriage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:53:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,333</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23874586</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HighPriestessBlackwood/pseuds/HighPriestessBlackwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I have an answer.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Edward Spellman &amp; Zelda Spellman, Faustus Blackwood/Zelda Spellman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I have an answer... Or I don’t?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I have an answer.”</p><p>She opens her eyes with these words, immediately moving to sit on the stretcher as if she weren’t almost dead a few moments ago. The first thing she sees is a black figure that makes a shiver run down her spine. She saw a lot of demons on her life but that was something unfamiliar, so she just frowns.</p><p>Zelda moves her hand and her breath hitches when she sees Mambo Marie is on the floor with her throat cut and that makes her feel sick in her stomach. Not because of her dead, obviously, but because of the fact she sees someone’s legs nearby.</p><p>She slowly moves her gaze up just to see him. Faustus Blackwood standing a few steps away from her, staring at her with his ocean blue eyes without blinding or moving and that scares her so much more than that black silhouette or dead body. She takes a few seconds looking in his eyes and they’re... empty, before she notices a move with a corner of her eyes and she sees him moving his fingers to take the dagger more comfortably.</p><p>Zelda slightly opens her mouth as her breathing becomes deeper, her thoughts were a mess and that lifeless look in his eyes makes her shivering again. He doesn’t say anything and she just looks at him like he does and there’re no emotions on his face, literally nothing.</p><p>“Faustus...”</p><p>She feels surprised when she hears herself saying that. She doesn’t understand what’s going on and... well she does, but she doesn’t want to believe in it with all her heart.</p><p>He doesn’t say anything, but then he makes a first step and that’s when memories starts this filling her head.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Zelda, this is my good friend and mentor, Faustus Blackwood... You will see him often at the Academy. And Faustus, of course you know a lot about Zelda.” Edward introduces them to each other, it was the next day after she returned from France, where two weeks ago she celebrated her 18th birthday with her friends and then decided to come back to Greendale after a few years.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She coyly looks at Faustus, but she sees the same joy in his eyes like he sees in hers. Edward keeps saying something but her eyes are fixed on Blackwood’s black curls and his lips, making a perfect little smirk, but his blue eyes seemed to be looking inside her. </em>
</p><p><em>Someone says that it’s time to go and only a few moments later she realizes it’s her brother, but she forgets</em> <em>about everything when Faustus takes her small hand into his and touches his lips to it for a second. Of course he feels her shiver because his smirk becomes wider and after it they left. Perhaps, she would keep standing in the yard if Hilda’s thin voice didn’t disturb her.</em></p><p>
  <em> “Zels, I’m hungry...” </em>
</p><p><em>Zelda shakes her head and goes inside the house. Of course feeding Hilda must interest her now but when she takes already cooked salad and potatoes from refrigerator, (Edward categorically forbid her to cook something by herself) she’s thinking about Faustus Blackwood</em>.</p><p> </p><p>How ridiculous, he seems to be moving so slowly... Is it even possible?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“And that’s how you trap a demon.” Faustus smiles brightly, turning himself to the group of students, after summoning and trapping it in the jar. She just smirks at it, sitting in the back of his office and when a few minutes later students are leaving, she comes to sit on his desk.</em>
</p><p><em>“Don’t summon demons without knowing the exact way how to banish them</em> <em>then, miss Spellman.” Faustus smirks, sitting next to her and she raises her eyebrow. Using ‘mister’ and ‘miss’ on public was usual thing but together they were calling each other by names. Or that ridiculous ‘pumpkin’, how he loves to call her and that always makes her cheeks red.<br/></em></p><p>
  <em>“Why is that?” She asks in teasing tone, titling her head slightly. </em>
</p><p><em>“It can be dangerous... So only with me, pumpkin.” He chuckles and she can’t help herself but points a tongue to him like a little child. He becomes serious even though playful sparkles dancing in his eyes and he puts a strand of her hair</em> <em>behind her ear. His fingers accidentally touch her neck and it’s so much for her — she grips his neck and presses her lips to his. She can’t do anything because he reacts immediately and his tongue slides into her mouth, his warm hands holding her waist. It’s so good, it’s perfect, it’s something she’s been wanting for months and when he pushes her down on the desk, raising her dress up, she feels a wide smile on her face.</em></p><p> </p><p>No, her mind must be playing with her, people can’t move this slow, right?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“How did you even remember the day of our anniversary?” Zelda laughs, but he interrupts her with a quick kiss on her mouth.<br/></em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I have the same question for you, hope you didn’t forget about my gift, hmm?” Faustus pokes her ribs, starting to tickle her belly then and she thinks she will die because of her laughing. But Praise Satan he stops it and she takes a minute to catch her breath.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Same question, darling.” She makes a funny grimace, wiping away some of her red lipstick from the corner of his mouth with her thumb and slightly pushes his shoulder with a laugh when he pretends that he’s going to bite off her finger. </em>
</p><p><em>They laugh and at the same time two small boxes appear in their hands: one for him and one for her. They give their gifts to</em> <em>each other and she finds there a beautiful small gold ring with carved “F” on it. They look at each other because Faustus finds in his gift the same ring but a bit bigger and with “Z” on it. They laugh again and she pulls him by the collar of his shirt for a kiss, before she puts the ring for him on his finger finger and he does the same to her. They look at each other for a brief moment and then pulls them into the bedroom, completely forgetting about romantic dinner in the kitchen.</em></p><p> </p><p>She sees him making another step and it doesn’t worry her, but what does — the fact his face haven’t changed since the moment she saw him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Uncle John will meet you at the airport to give you apartment keys, he’s leaving a few hours later after you arrive.” Edward instructs her and acts like he doesn’t hear her sobbing. They enter the airport and there’s not a lot of people and she can understand it, who wants to leave somewhere at 4 am? She feels tears flowing down her cheeks and she desperately grips Edward’s hand, making him to stop.<br/></em>
</p><p><em>“Please.” She looks at him with that pleading</em> <em>eyes, she would never think that she’s going to beg her brother or cry in the front of someone but now her heart feels like it was ripped into million pieces. She keeps desperately thinking that he’ll change his mind and let her come back and she doesn’t even notice when she starts shaking, gasping with tears.</em></p><p>
  <em> “Don’t make me look at this, Zelda. You will go to France and it’s my last word.” He takes her hand, making her walk again and she thinks that she would give everything for him not knowing about her relationship with Faustus. But it’s so late. He knows and he will do everything for it to stop. She doesn’t know why, he doesn’t say anything to her about it, but when she sits in the plane she realizes that, perhaps, that happy evening she had only one day ago, was the last happy evening in her life.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She feels her eyes tearing up slightly and she thinks she would give anything to see his eyes bright again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She kept remembering about him all those years. Even on her way back to Greendale because of her brother’s death, she keeps thinking about Blackwood and his damn eyes. She feels herself so desperate and mad again. At Edward because he didn’t let her to be happy, at Faustus because he didn’t do anything to stop him and at herself because she listened to him and allowed him to send her on the other side of the world.</em>
</p><p><em>She was in Greendale a year ago, to find out that her dear brother decided to marry a mortal. She couldn’t hold her anger and refused to attend their wedding, but everything became worse when that Diana got pregnant and those news</em> <em>even make her to forget about Faustus for some time. </em><em>She didn’t have a chance see him and with her heart tight she returns to Paris, only to come back to Greendale after a year again.</em></p><p><em>She feels herself shivering when she understands that he will be on the funeral too. Zelda can’t understand if she’s ready to see him. She wanted it for all those years and now</em> <em>she feels scared. She’s afraid to look into his eyes, afraid to fall in love again. Well, she has to admit that it’s her curse — she’ll always remember him.</em></p><p>
  <em>“Zelds.”</em>
</p><p><em>She feels her eyes getting wet but she quickly blinks to stop it when she hears that voice behind her back. That deep voice that always makes her shivering now sounds a bit guilty and she turns to look at him. His eyes are slightly teary too and she’s wondering if he knows why she disappeared that day or no. She doesn’t see accusing in his eyes but somewhere deep in his soul she knows he’s hurt too. She feels</em> <em>her tears are ready to fall from her eyes every second and she doesn’t want anything more than press herself to that chest and stay in his arms — the only place where she could feel safe.</em></p><p>
  <em>“Oh, Faustus, you’re here!” They turn a little to see a woman approaching them and wrapping her arms around Faustus’s neck, something that Zelda wanted to do a few moments ago. “I’m Constance Blackwood and you are...”</em>
</p><p><em>“Zelda Spellman.” She barely says, looking in his eyes. She clenches her jaw, feeling her heart</em> <em>tight and sees his apologizing look. They look at each other while Constance keep saying something, but they do not care. It looks like a wordless dialogue and actually it is. Finally, she moves her gaze and understands what she couldn’t realize at the beginning. The ring was different. Not the one she gave to him on their anniversary, now he was wearing his engagement ring. That was... understandable, but Zelda feels she won’t hold for a long time and takes all her strength to give them a little smile.</em></p><p><em>“My congratulations to you, mr.Blackwood... Now if you</em> <em>excuse me.” She says and doesn’t wait for an answer, just leaves. She hears him calling her but she’s almost running, feeling tears starting to fall from her eyes. Stupid. What she was expecting? That he will sit near the window and wait for her to return? Stupid indeed.</em></p><p>
  <em>She runs into the Spellman’s house and grabs the first vase she sees to throw it into the wall with a loud scream. She feels herself so weak and lost and all she can do is get up to her room and fall on the best, shuddering from crying.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She suddenly regrets that she didn’t visit him in the witch’s cell, because now everything she wants is find out what happened to him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“I just think... if Sabrina wants to talk to someone, an outside opinion...” Hilda mumbles and she barely holds herself from rolling her eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Who would you have her talk to, Hilda? The Dark Lord himself?” She asks in a mocking tone. Hilda’s ideas were ridiculous as always.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No, but I just... I feel like, as close to him are reasonably possible.” She quickly says and Zelda understands what does she want. She looks at her, then at Ambrose and commands him to finish embalming and be careful with blood — they need every drop of it for Sabrina’s baptism.</em>
</p><p><em>They haven’t been talking for years, meeting only on Black Mass</em> <em>or another coven events where she used to put on her mask of a cold woman. And when she sees him entering their parlor in the evening she doesn’t even look at him, pretending to be interested in the newspaper she’d already read in the morning.</em></p><p>
  <em>“Sister Zelda.” He greets and sits into the armchair. She sighs and knows that she must answer, he’s the High Priest after all.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Father Blackwood.” She puts her newspaper away and tries not to think that his fingers playing with his cane is so damn attractive view. She thanks Satan that Hilda enters the room next moment, perhaps she has never felt so happy with her sister’s appearance.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She just wonders, will she see something in his eyes?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Couldn’t we settle this between ourselves? You, me, the Dark Lord?” She offers with a little smile, sitting in his office and that makes him frown slightly. She would never imagine that Sabrina could be a reason why they started talking again. “Without the embarrassing spectacle of a public trial?”</em>
</p><p><em>“The wheels of justice are already turning, Zelda.” He gets up from his chair and she notices a small smirk on his face too. He sits on his desk and suddenly takes her hand, making her feel surprised and his voice softening. “However... Come tonight... with Sabrina. Have her admit</em> <em>her wrongdoing and beg for forgiveness, immediately. The Dark Lord is not without mercy. But he will require total submission from the girl.” He places her hand between his hands and slightly leans forward to her.</em></p><p>
  <em>“And he shall have it... I promise you.” She adds with a whisper.</em>
</p><p><em>“Poor Zelda. I already see the ravages of age upon you.” He says, running his hand over her check and she involuntary leans against his palm. He places his hand on her neck and makes something she expected least — places a kiss on her forehead. He touches her hair and she follows the move of his hand, but next moment he’s holding the strand of her hair. She quickly gets up,</em> <em>widening her eyes and takes it from his hand, not missing the opportunity to press herself against him for a moment.</em></p><p>
  <em>“Thank you for your time, Faustus.” She whispers and turns away, letting go on his hand as he follows her with his eyes. “See you in court.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He makes the third step and he’s already so close but she can’t help herself but keeps thinking.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“I’m failing, Father. Failing the Church of Night. Failing you.” She hears her voice cracks with a sob when she’s standing on her knees in the parlor in her house and holding his hand in hers. He looks so powerful and cold, but when he moves to be closer to her and put his hand over hers she already feels better. He tells her his story and she feels tears filling her eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Faustus...”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Zelda.”</em>
</p><p><em>They look at each other for a moment and then he slides from the armchair to stand on his knees too, his hands gripping her waist and his mouth crashes against hers in a passionate kiss. They</em> <em>do not leave the parlor for a few hours and when they both are completely exhausted, he leaves and finally, after a lot of years she feels herself alive again.</em></p><p> </p><p>She doesn’t know what’s going on in his head now, it’s the first time when she can’t say that and it scares her the most.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“I assume you have cat o’ nine tails?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I do... somewhere.”</em>
</p><p><em> “Good. We will do it here then, your door has a lock, I presume.” He comes to the bed, throwing his cane on it and they do not care that it’s Hilda’s bed actually. “It does but... I don’t understand.” She says slightly irritated. “You will flagellate me, then I will flagellate you. And together we will suffer in exquisite... ecstasy.” He starts undressing and turns to</em> <em>look at her for a moment. “How does that sound?” He smugly smirks and she notices her mouth slightly opened in anticipation. “Entirely appropriate.” She barely days with excitement and moves her hands to unzip her dress.</em></p><p> </p><p>He makes the last step and he’s already leaning over her, as her memories starts to flow faster in her head.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“This is not a place for a man. And that very much includes you!” She angrily says, giving him her coat after he told her that Constance has gone into labor. She doesn’t like her, but she would do anything for his sons to be okay. She does everything but Constance dies and when Zelda sees that one of the kids is a girl she makes something so impulsive — brings her to her house and lies to Faustus, about what she regrets for million times. She wants to be a family with him. Mother, father and two kids.</em>
</p><p><em>A few months later she wins him in that ridiculous game and says him that they won’t have secret meetings and flagellations until he makes her his Top Lady as it were.</em> <em>But on Lupercalia she can’t help herself.</em></p><p>
  <em> “One night of carnality won’t kill us.” She says in a sweet tone with a feeling of him stroking her hip and playing with her hair.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Oh, I shouldn’t think it would.” He smiles and leans to kiss her with a soft moan.</em>
</p><p> <em>However, she keeps her promise and next day she talks with him only about business but when he calls her to his office there’s something she doesn’t expect.</em></p><p><em>“When we were at the Academy, Zelda, when I was mentor to Edward and he was my protégé... I confided in him that I planned to ask for your hand in marriage...” Faustus sighs heavily and she slowly turns herself to him, noticing the same guilt in his eyes like she saw on Edward’s funeral when she found out about</em> <em>Constance. “And your brother... he rebuked me.”</em></p><p>
  <em>“Edward did?” She asks in disbelief and feels anger and despair raising inside her. He proposes to her and she smiles widely. She says she’ll think, but she knows they both know she will say ‘yes’. It’s something she’s been wanting for decades and now it feels so intoxicating.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She sees him moving his hand and now there’re only pieces of memories in her head.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Their wedding, how despite Sabrina they get married.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> Rome. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Caligari spell. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He looks different after their wedding and for days she’s trying to understand what’s wrong.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> He finds out about Letty and she understands its the end but still she tries to do something.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> He puts her in the witch’s cell. She escapes. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He poisons the coven. She saves them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She still feels herself desperate because she wants to know what happened to him, but he runs from Greendale and she has to take care of all Coven now, as new High Priestess. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Prudence and Ambrose bring him back and she doesn’t even have time to talk to him. In anyway it wouldn’t matter with Satan trapped in his body.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>And now, when he raises the dagger in his hand she feels that anger again. He was her curse for all her life and at this moment she hates him for it. It’s not the same person she loves, it’s someone else.</p><p>“I curse you, Blackwood!” She hisses through her teeth and next moment he stabs the dagger into her chest. She lets out a shaky sigh and they look into each other’s eyes all the time. Still nothing changes in his eyes and it makes her completely sure that it’s not Faustus she knows. He would always be in her head but next moment she falls back on the stretchers, closing her eyes and falling in the darkness.</p>
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